Lifting Your Spirits How To Stop Drinking Alcohol What Does Your Label Say Increasing Your Energy You Can Convince Yourself To Be Happy Here S How
Do you use alcohol to help you feel better? Does the world look better when you’ve had a few drinks? Do you find yourself unable to communicate when sober?
If alcohol has started to become your “friend”, it may be time for you to examine how you work with your emotions. For many alcoholics, emotions are a scary thing, and you may be the sort of person who has not learned to deal with them (or perhaps, as a child, been taught to suppress them).
For many people with drinking problems, dealing with their emotions is a far greater fear and challenge than dealing with the alcohol addiction.
If you want to learn how to stop drinking alcohol, you will need to learn to deal with your own emotions. People tend to learn that emotions are not under their control, and that belief becomes true – not because it must be so, but because it’s believed.
Amazingly, with a little training and some persistent practice, it is possible to learn to take hold of your own emotions and state of mind. Some people who have practiced for long enough now “design” their states of mind, which means that they can be comfortable and happy in any situation (barring extremes such as death).
Designing your own state of mind must start, initially, with the realization that it is possible. A woman once said about one of these people, “But can he really be so happy all of the time? No, of course not.” That woman had the belief that it was impossible, and so she will continue for the rest of her life feeling feelings that seem to be outside of her control. She cannot control what makes her happy or sad, and so her life is just “luck”.
Once you have realized, the next step is to find out how. It is a process of growth, but the good news is that the first steps can be learned quickly. Those first steps, which can be learned with the help of mind specialists such as hypnotherapists, experts in NLP (neurolinguistic programming) and similar, allow you to take control.
After that, it is just practice and persistence. That doesn’t mean, of course, that you should stop learning – far from it. Once you have learned to take control, continued learning means that you can start to learn to design your states of mind.
The ultimate (and it’s easier than it sounds) is, in any situation, to ask yourself, “What state of mind would serve me and the people around me best?” Then, in just seconds, create that state of mind. For example, I used to panic in emergencies. That didn’t help anyone. Now, no matter what the emergency (and I’ve dealt with a few), I keep a cool head with clear thinking powers. That serves both me and the people suffering in the emergency.
How soon will you start to learn?
One of the easiest things to do when talking to someone is to start exchanging battle stories with them!
It simply begins by telling them about a time in your life when you went through something that you thought was devastating and how it either ruined you or how you overcame it.
Almost before you can complete your story, the other person jumps in and always seems to try to one up you with their own battle story.
Before you know it, you are in a conversation that seems to last forever because both of you are trying to outdo the other one with your stories.
If the truth be told, everyone in this world has a story to tell. Some of these stories end in tragedy and some in triumph. The sad thing is that, whether their tragedy was in the past, or they are currently experiencing a tragedy, they don’t realize that they still have the ability to turn it into a victory.
They are so focused on proving to the world that they have been done wrong, or that they are owed something for what they have gone through, they never realize that the world is slipping by.
Which category do you fall in?
Are you focused on your wounds and scars or have you been able to overcome them and succeed in life?
The other day, someone I know bought a leather couch. There was a tag on it and I found it to be very interesting. The tag said this:
“This product is not faulty or damaged. All the markings, scaring, and discolorations on this product are normal and enhance its natural beauty.”
In your own life, do you have a tag that reads like that or does your tag read more like this:
“This product has been unjustly damaged. All the markings, scaring, and discolorations on this product are the result of it being victimized. This is not normal and in no way enhances its natural beauty.”
I know that you may have had some very terrible things happen to you in your lifetime. But believe it or not, you have the ability to live your life with greatness and victory. You have the choice what your label says about you. You have the choice whether that label is a label of success or defeat.
You see, every scar, every mark, every burn has the potential to help change the lives of the people around you. How many other people have gone through similar circumstances and need someone like you to say to them:
See here, I’ve gone through the same thing. Here is my scar to prove it. I was able to overcome it and now I have greatness and success in my life. If I could do it, so can you.
Remember that greatness never comes easy. If it did, then everyone would reach their full purpose in life.
If you choose to, everything you have ever gone through, and everything that you will go through, has the potential to help you impact the lives of many other people in a positive way.
So what do you want your label to say?
Do you have enough energy to create the life you want? Energy is the critical, invisible force that creates your vitality and aliveness.
Without it, you drag through life, tired, stressed, and drained. With it, you feel good, enjoy yourself, and have the fuel to create what you want in life.
When it comes to energy, more is definitely better and you can create more energy with a few simple steps.
Your Energy Account
Think of your energy like a bank account. Your thoughts, activities, actions, and interactions all have the potential to increase or decrease the balance in your account.
Withdrawing energy lowers the balance; depositing energy raises the balance. To keep your energy account high (which is what you want) minimize your withdrawals and maximize your deposits.
It sounds so simple but how can you actually do this?
How Do You Keep the Balance High?
Here are two keys to increasing the balance in your energy account.
1) Drop the drains.
We use energy all day long. That’s what energy is for. However, some things drain too much of our life energy.
You might be drained by your job, certain family members, technology, time pressures, negative self-talk, negativity in others, or world problems.
What drains you is unique to you. A job, a person, or a task you find draining might not be draining for someone else.
Do less of what drains you. This may seem obvious yet it has been a breakthrough idea for some of my clients. Somehow they hadn’t thought of stopping or doing less of what drained them. When they did – surprise! – they had a lot more energy.
2) Do what lights you up.
What lights you up is what energizes and enlivens you, what you love, what you’re passionate about. By their very nature, your “lights” are deposits to your energy account. The more you do what lights you up, the more energy you’ll have.
Like energy drains, lights are specific to each individual. What lights you up could actually drain someone else and vice versa.
People are lit up about many things: a walk on the beach, visiting an art museum, playing with a pet, listening to music, talking with friends. This list could go on forever.
The key is to identity what lights YOU up and what drains YOU. Then do more of the former and less of the latter.
I’ve been working on a project the last month or so, a project that was taking more time than I thought it would or “should.”
I began to pressure myself to get the darn thing done. I started working more and playing less. This drained much energy out of my account without replenishing it so the balance kept getting lower and I kept feeling worse.
By the time I realized what was happening, my energy was very low. This “low balance alert” told me I needed to stop the energy drains and do more of what lights me up before I hit NSF (non-sufficient funds) in my energy account!
For me that meant allowing myself to slow down, working less on the project, and taking at least two hours every day to do something that lit me up.
The first day on my new plan, I worked only a couple of hours on my project. I then took a top-down drive in my convertible on a summery day, went to lunch at an elegant restaurant with a book I was interested in, and spent time visiting with friends. Throughout the day, I kept reminding myself it was okay to slow down and take it easy.
By the evening I was on an energy high, feeling happy, calm, and more myself. Just one day of less drain and more lights made a huge difference! I’ll continue to make this a priority until my energy account is filled up.
In Your Life
If you’d like to increase the balance in your energy account, here are a few suggestions.
1) Assess your energy account. What’s your balance?
If you’re overflowing with positive energy, congratulations! Keep doing what you’re doing as it’s working for you.
If your balance is not as high as you’d like, try the steps below.
If your energy is depleted or draining rapidly as mine was, make restoring your energy your number one priority. Use the steps below to boost your energy as quickly as possible.
2) Notice what drains you.
Ask yourself “What is draining me?” and get curious about the answer.
Give yourself permission to and be creative about how to decrease your energy drains.
3) Give yourself permission to and do more of what lights you up.
If you don’t yet know what lights you up — or would like to know more — ask yourself on a regular basis, “What lights me up?” or “Does this light me up?”
Create a list of what makes you feel alive, sparkly, passionate, energized, soothed, and nurtured. Spend some time every day doing something from that list.
The more you do what lights you up and the less you do what drains you, the higher your energy balance.
Paraphrasing Mark Twain, “What is a woman without energy? Nothing – nothing at all.” Raise your energy balance and make you and your life something – something wonderful.
“A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is.” – Seneca
A brief observation about man and his ability to think opens a door of empowerment worthy of exploring. It’s easy to be happy when things are going well, isn’t it? But what about those times when things are going badly? What do we do? Some of us brave on with a stiff upper lip and breeze right over the trouble as if there wasn’t any at all. Some of us cave in under pressure and behave pretty miserably. What makes us different? Seneca reveals a secret power of the mind when he observed that some of us convince ourselves to be in a certain state of mind.
Why would anyone do such a foolish thing as to convince themselves to be unhappy? There are plenty of reasons; but let’s leave that to the psycho-analysts and therapists to work out. I am interested in the fact the man can change his state of mind. Can people change their state of mind by sheer will power? Yes you can! You know you can! Haven’t you as a child put on a mask of pretense and played the role when you had an incentive. I once stayed home from school, so I played sick. Later my mom can in my bedroom and said she was going to the store and wanted to know if I wanted anything. Well that was all I needed. I through off the covers and stood up fast as lightening and said, can I go with you? Ice cream was my incentive. Of course I blew my cover and that was the end of that. So how do we do it? How do we convince ourselves to be happy? Here are the 5 simple steps:
1) You must have an incentive. You need a burning desire. Think about the goal. What will “acting” happy do for you? Well it will make people around you nicer for one thing. Having happy people around you will make you happy because a positive state of mind is catchy. You can turn a situation around.
2) Remember it’s an act. You are playing a role. Fake it till you make it! Even if you are not happy, act as if you are. Keep talking to yourself. Keep telling yourself the reasons why you need to be happy. Sell yourself on the outcome. Make it real. Details make stories real. Think of details.
3) Ignore the negative self-chatter. Your mind will continually try to interrupt your play by reminding you about the reality of things. Don’t listen to the negative tapes that tell you that you won’t succeed and you are a failure. Just act happy.
4) Use positive triggers. Everyone has a trigger that makes them happy. Maybe its whistling, maybe it’s singing a song in your head.
5)Remember that time heals all wounds. In time your trouble will pass.
Let’s face it; we sometimes have to convince ourselves to be happy when we are not in the mood. Just knowing we have the power to do that is empowering enough for me. Taking the action to convince yourself to be happy is even more empowering. Try it on the next time your day goes bad. You may just be surprised about the outcome!.
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