Becoming Magnetic Why See A Hypnotist A Desperate Matter Spirituality Information Time Management Tips For A Successful Life
A woman I know, an extremely spiritual person, recently shared with me the following: ‘I used to have unfortunate beliefs about myself and I received back from external influences unfortunate results. When I decided to take control and raise my resonance, to be the change I wanted to become, to allow abundance and love come flow through me, absolutely everything fell into place. I am now living a life of leisure with a beautiful husband and I can draw what I want into my universe at will.’
What does it take to be magnetic? Can we really draw money, love or health simply by telling ourselves we are magnets for what we want?
It’s easier than you think. It simply takes a shift in perception.
We choose what we focus on in life. We choose to be miserable when it rains and happy when it’s sunny. Or we can appreciate the downpour as an opportunity to take care of indoor activities or to go splashing through puddles.
By putting our focus on good, we draw good to us. Conversely, by focusing on grief, we draw more to grieve. There’s absolutely a place for grief in our lives, I’m not suggesting otherwise, but we need to be mindful that we are not suffering over our own suffering and not continually drawing grief to us.
I overheard a girl in a caf telling her friend, ‘I’m a total freak magnet. I can’t leave my apartment without running into someone either clinically insane or whacked out on drugs or fanatical about some weirdness who wants to have extensive interaction with me.’
Her friend responded, ‘That’s strange. Your neighborhood is really nice. I can’t imagine there would be too many freaks around there.’
She responded, ‘I can’t figure it out. The freaks find me wherever I am. They just seem to be waiting for me to leave the apartment so they can scream in my face or get me to join their cult.’
What an awful thing for this girl, I thought to myself, to believe that she is a magnet for freaks, that no matter where she goes, she’s going to draw to her the lowest common denominator.
This is really how attraction works. What you think about yourself, you are. What you believe about the world, is your reality. What you speak, is your truth.
I was so tempted. . . I wanted to tell her, ‘You’re programming yourself to be a freak magnet. You could just as easily be a money magnet, or a parking space magnet. . .’ but I realized that my intrusion would only further her self-diagnosis. She’d completely misinterpret my attempt at kindness as just another freak, as in, ‘You wouldn’t believe the freak that came up to me in the cafe. . . He seemed normal, but. . . ‘
So whatever your beliefs are about the world, I implore you, take this freak’s advice and adjust it to bring you all that you ever wanted and not the lowest common denominator.
Why see a hypnotist?
Why does change, at times, seem so difficult? Why can’t we just make up our minds to change patterns of behaviors, thoughts, and emotions and have it happen that quickly? The ‘Holy Grail’ of change work, whether it be self-help, or through utilizing a coach or therapist, is the instant ‘quick fix’ change can rectify years of habitual behavior patterns in a few short moments. Oh, and while we’re at it let’s make those moments comfortable and relaxing.
Let us look for a moment at a possible reason why change doesn’t always occur that easily (in fact rarely) and why hypnosis might be a possible candidate for that Grail.
Your entire magnificent body/mind system sails through life performing an astronomical number of simultaneous tasks. Barring emergencies, your heart never stops beating, your lungs never stop operating, you metabolize the food you eat, and maintain a body temperature of 98.6 regardless of your environment. And, that is just a tip of the physiological iceberg of ongoing vital functions. Yet you only become aware of these processes if there is a problem. Otherwise they thankfully require no attention. These processes are part of your vast ‘unconscious’.
Included in this ever ongoing party of physiological processes beneath your awareness, or consciousness, are all of your brain’s functions, including language, proprioception (sense of your body and it’s position), emotional responses, etc., etc. There is, of course, no clear dividing line between physical and mental processes, and we are blissfully unaware of the overwhelmingly vast majority of them.
Now, specifically regarding behaviors. Most of our behaviors seem to be picked up unconsciously from our environment. Perhaps we are born with the tendency toward some behaviors, the jury is still out on that regard, but whether nature or nurture, the acquisition of behavior is predominantly unconscious. How many times, as we mature, do we marvel at how much our behaviors (particularly speech patterns) resemble our parent’s patterns, often in spite of our best efforts. These are behaviors we unconsciously picked up from our environment as we developed.
What then, is our conscious mind, and what is it’s scope? What’s left?
Research has repeatedly shown that we can generally only be aware of, or conscious of, seven plus or minus two pieces of information at any one time. As glorious as our conscious mind is, it is so severely limited in the volume of information it can handle, that, in most cases, it is unable to have much of an effect on our overall behavior. Our conscious mind can manage momentary adjustments of behavior at best. In fact, I suggest that the main purpose of the conscious mind is to handle the necessary small bits of information we receive just until we can process them into our much more able ‘unconscious mind’.
In fact, think about how we learn new things. Take riding a bike, for example. At first, when we climb on that wobbly two wheeled device, we have more things to attend to than we could possibly consciously handle
Tom was a wonderful human being. He was kind, caring and helpful to all those who sought his assistance. The only problem was that most of us did not like to be around Tom. Much as he tried to be a “good” person, there was always an aura of doom and gloom around him. It didn’t matter whether he was speaking with you on the phone or sitting across the table from you, you just would get the feeling that the world was coming to an end or that your life would be in a terrible mess. Were you to spend an hour with Tom, you’d feel that all your energy was drained out of you.
Now, mind you, as I said earlier, Tom was a caring person. The problem was, however that Tom carried around with him a “cloud of negativity” born of desperation. His was definitely a desperate matter. It didn’t just stop when he got off the phone. The emptiness in your stomach, the low energy would persist for quite a while until you eventually forgot about him. That is how powerful the feeling of desperation is. It has the power to turn off the brightest light in our lives.
Desperation broadcasts a very strong message to all within our sphere of influence. It even goes beyond that to people who are meeting you for the first time. Business associates tend to shun you, partners want to avoid you, everyone — even little children — feel uncomfortable around you.
So what do you do if situations and circumstances seem hopeless and your fears force you into desperation? Simple, but not easy. First, try to slow your thoughts down. You are desperate because of the incessant, negative self-talk, which has taken over your entire being. Slow the internal conversation down. Take a break from whatever you’re doing — even if it’s for a few minutes.
Next, breathe deeply a few times, not any special count like breathe in for a count of seven, hold for a count of five and then breathe out for a count of seven. Do that if you want, but it’s not necessary. Just slow breathing, in and out, will lower the tension in the body, mind and spirit to a more manageable pace. Realize that things are as they are, but can be changed. You can change them by becoming quiet within yourself and then listening to the feelings you have. Ask yourself if there is anything you can do about the problem at this moment.
You will get one of two answers. Either “yes” or “no.” If the answer is “yes,” go ahead and do what you can. If the answer is “no,” then go do something else or maybe even nothing. This simple exercise is a practice in patience and will tune-up the mind and make it possible for you to find creative ways for your problem to be resolved. And it will be resolved in ways that sometimes may seem magical.
Now, I realize it is not easy to conquer desperation with the flip of a switch or the snap of the fingers. Having been in the middle of it many times, I discovered that it generally takes courage and practice to overcome. Of course, most of us can’t stop worrying by telling ourselves not to worry.
But we can put a time limit on it. A simple trick I use is this: I acknowledge that the situation is bad and I say to myself, “John, this seems to be really terrible — really, really bad. But it may only appear that way because you’re desperate and scared right now. It’s OK to be scared for a little while. However, don’t spend all day being frightened or desperate. Take 30 minutes, an hour, even a few hours if you like. Be as desperate as you want for that period of time. Then drop it and go on with other things.” Just practice this whenever you feel scared and desperate.
And Tom, what about Tom? Well, He continues to call. He’s exhausted all the time. Desperation, you see, consumes all his energy. I tried to show him that there is always hope, that his problems would let go of him when he got quiet enough to loosen his grip and let go of them. I tried to teach him to breathe slowly and to get quiet inside. He listened, became quiet for ten seconds and went right back to worrying.
Other friends tried to help him, but he would not let go of his problems. I came to believe that Tom thought he would have no purpose here on Earth if he did not have things to worry about. I tried to tell him that it was fine to be happy and that we did not need anything to make us happy. But he would not let go and give himself permission to be happy.
The application of time management skills has tended, in the past, to be thought of as something that is for business life only. In reality, though, time management is something from which we can all benefit in our personal lives as well, and in the art of marrying our working lives with our home and social lives.
Those benefits show in a number of ways, including health, well being and satisfaction with our lives overall. Manage your time well, and you can feel in control of your life, rather than letting events control you. There is no single “method” of time management, either in business or personal life. However, there are various time management tips and techniques, practices and theories, which it is worth knowing about.
Acquiring time management skills is something we can set about doing in a methodical way. Really, we all practice time management whether we know it or not. It is more a matter of whether we do it well or badly. The following tips are for improving time management skills, building on those that you will naturally have. Even primitive man used time management, it was just a lot simpler in those days. Time had to be allocated for hunting, and that time had to be used to the fullest effect possible to survive.
Here are just a few time management tips:
1. Before learning any techniques to help you manage your time, have a clear idea of what you are setting out to achieve. Give yourself the opportunity to get your life in some sort of order so that you can both enjoy it to the full and succeed to the full. If you just apply time management to areas of your life that do not really matter to you, then you will not be progressing at a personal level.
2. Get your priorities clear in your mind, so that they are a natural part of you. This will need to become a habit to be very effective, and you will need to apply prioritizing over a number of time spans. Your long term success will probably depend on your being able to prioritize what you need to do to achieve that success. However, to use your time well on a particular day, you need to start the day with a clear idea of your priorities. that also applies to the week, the month and the year. Your priorities for the shorter period must always feed positively into the priorities in the next longer period, and so on, so that each time period is mapped out with priorities that lead to your ultimate success.
3. When assessing priorities, be ruthless with parts of your life that are not contributing to your longer term goals. Removing the areas of your life where you are wasting time, will free up more time for you to apply to reaching your goals.
4. Always be sure to build your health and enjoyment into any plans. Time for relaxation and exercise are critical to your long term achievements; always make time for proper meals, and keep to a healthy but enjoyable diet. Time management is not an exercise in being macho with your business life; it is an opportunity to build a balanced life for yourself and your family.
5. Once you have set your priorities for any period, write them down and refer to them from time to time, updating them if necessary. Should you appear to be failing, examine why, and reset and reinforce your goals and priorities. It is too easy to slip back into bad habits that inhibit your progress.
6. Be sure to keep a diary and use it to plan out each day, week, month. There are all sorts of electronic gizmos, online planners, software etc to act as aids to your time management. Personally, I think a good old fashioned diary is just as good, if not better. About 18 months ago I reverted to using a traditional diary to plan my working time. That forces me to get away from the computer, even for a few minutes, and think what my priorities are, and what I need to be reminded about.
If you can become better at time management, you will find your life more satisfying and less stressful, as well as being able to achieve greater things. For millions of people, life just sweeps them along in a torrent of activity, or inactivity, over which they have little or no control. That can be very stressful, unhealthy, inefficient, and demoralising over the long term. There is nothing quite like controlling your own destiny to reduce stress and aid success..
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