Stuttering Self Help Addiction To Worry Top Ways To Maximize Your Talents At Work Empowerment For Women The Power Is Within You

I am Stephen Hill from Birmingham in England. I started to stutter at the age of four or five. My parents took me to a lot of different types of speech therapy, some in groups, some on a one to one basis.

The kind of advice I was given to control my stutter or to overcome my stutter were varied. These are some:

slowing down my breath

costal breathing

prolonged speech

taking a deep breath before I spoke

I had began in the class called, preschool stutter. This term is labelled by the stutter speech therapist or the stutter speech pathologist. My parents were reassured that most people who stutter in childhood soon grow out of it. Well I was one of those who didn’t.

I then joined the class called, childhood stutter. I continued to attend speech therapy and joining in with their speech therapy activities and their speech therapy games.

I then progressed to the class called, adult stutter. I now decided that speech therapy was not really working for me.

I decided to try my own form of stutter self help. Even though I had a stutter, at times I could talk very well. As an example when I was drunk, I spoke nearly perfectly fluent.

After nearly a year I managed to overcome my stutter and eradicate the stutter once and for all. As a career I now help other people to stop stuttering.

I offer various types of stuttering therapy, the most popular of which are one to one speech therapy courses which are held in Birmingham, England. I now offer three day courses aswell as the original five day courses. For people who would prefer a form of stuttering self help, I offer a seventy minute dvd which also comes with a written booklet called the course notes. These notes and the dvd have full descriptions of each of the techniques I teach on the speech course as well as the forms of practice to use to enable those techniques to become a natural part of the persons speech. I have had a very positive feedback from the people who have purchased this form of stuttering self help.

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking – Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. “What if I never get well?” “What if my husband gets sick?” “What if I run out of money?” (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). “What if my son gets into drugs?” “What if my kids don’t get into good colleges?” “What if someone breaks into the house?”

Her worry was not only causing her depression, but was also contributing to her illness, if not actually causing it. Her worry caused so much stress in her body that her immune system could not do its job of keeping her well. Yet even the awareness that her worry was causing her depression and possibly even her illness did not stop Carole from worrying. She was addicted to it. She was unconsciously addicted to the sense of control that worry gave her.

I understood this well because I come from a long line of worriers. My grandmother’s whole life was about worrying. She lived with us as I was growing up and I don’t remember ever seeing her without a look of worry on her face. Same with my mother – constant worry. Of course, I picked up on it and also became a worrier. However, unlike my mother and grandmother, who worried daily until the day they died, I decided I didn’t want to live that way. The turning point came for me the day my husband and I were going to the beach and I started to worry that the house would burn down and my children would die. I became so upset from the worry that we had to turn around and come home. I knew then that I had to do something about it.

As I started to examine the cause of worry, I realized that worriers believe that worry will stop bad things from happening. My mother worried her whole life and none of the bad things she worried about ever happened. She concluded that nothing bad happened because she worried! She really believed that she could control things with her worry. My father, however, never worried about anything, and nothing bad ever happened to him either. My mother believed that nothing bad happened to my father because of her worry! She really believed until the day she died (from heart problems that may have been due to her constant worry) that if she stopped worrying, everything would fall apart. My father is still alive at 92, even without her worrying about him!

It is not easy to stop worrying when you have been practicing worrying for most of your life. In order for me to stop worrying, I needed to recognize that the belief that worry has control over outcomes is a complete illusion. I needed to see that, not only is worry a waste of time, but that it can have grave negative consequences on health and well-being. Once I understood this, I was able to notice the stomach clenching that occurred whenever I worried and stop the thought that was causing the stress.

Carole is in the process of learning this. She sees that her worry makes her feel very anxious and depressed. She sees that when she doesn’t worry, she is not nearly as fatigued as when she allows her addiction to worry to take over. She sees that when she stays in the moment rather than projecting into the future, she feels much better. The key for Carole in stopping worrying is in accepting that worry does not give her control.

Giving up the illusion of control that worry gives us not easy for anyone who worries. Yet there is an interesting paradox regarding worry. I have found that when I am in the present moment, I have a much better chance of making choices that support my highest good than when I’m stuck thinking about the future. Rather than giving us control, worry prevents us from being present enough to make loving choices for ourselves and others. Worrying actually ends up giving us less control rather than more!

Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at work? If you have sharp analytical skills, have you sought to apply those skills to your current job? I know it sounds crazy to ask for more work when you are already overloaded, but any assistance that you can provide now will ultimately help you advance in your present position or in a future one.

You have gifts and talents to offer the world. Your current or potential employer desperately needs to use your talents NOW, especially since they are focused on increasing revenue.

Just what ARE your talents and how can you apply them to your career?

1. Discover Your Hidden Talents

a. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

b. How can you capitalize on your strengths and improve your weaknesses?

c. Can you enhance your strengths and dissipate your weaknesses by learning on-the-job or by taking additional classes or training?

2. Promote Your Talents Within

a. Once you have an analysis of the talents you have to offer, start promoting them. If you don’t tout them, then no one will.

b. Talk with your boss about helping out the team. Your pathway to the top is by being someone who can be counted on.

3. Take Action

a. After you tell your employer about your hidden talents and your ideas for using them, you must live by your words. Remember your integrity is at stake and that means something.

b. Using your talents is not a one-day project; it is a way to live and work more effectively every day. So go out there, and put your talent to work!

It may be hard to focus on your talents when the world around you is so uncertain. Put your worries behind you, and your best foot forward. You can be proud of your effort no matter what the future may bring, because you swung out and gave it your best shot.

Has anyone heard of Emmeline Pankhurst?

Emmeline was born in Manchester, UK in 1858. She was the daughter of very forward thinking parents for their time, Robert and Sophia Goulden.

You can read more about Emmeline, often referred to as Emily, by visiting this link, Emmeline was highly instrumental in forming the UK’s Suffragette Movement and in doing so she eventually brought about the right for women to vote.

Now OK, both our male and female readers could be forgiven for thinking, ‘hey hang on a minute, this is an attempt to promote feminist views’.

However I can assure you it is not because I am not out to promote any kind of political agenda so please bear with me, especially our male readers. You’re not about to come under fire here.

The point I am trying to highlight is the sheer belief that Emmeline held deep within herself.

This was that she could make change happen in a society that had always shaped and dominated the view that women had a far lesser role to play than their male counterparts and that their worth as a human being was also far less.

This was evident by the fact that at that time, women could not enter many professions in particular the medical and law profession. Even by today’s standards, in the UK especially, female barristers still have a hard time reaching the Bar Council and as far as I am aware, in all of British history right up to the current date, there is not a single female judge sitting in the House of Lords, Britains highest law court.

Can you also believe that it was only in 1991, that the House of Lords finally overturned a legal ruling that had stood for centuries? This was that it was accepted in law that it was legal for a man to rape his wife in marriage.

Only in 1991 was this barbaric law finally thrown out and replaced with new legislation that it is indeed now illegal for a husband to assault his wife.

Imagine then, back in the early 1900’s when the Edwardian society were still feeling embarrassed by their gaudy Victorian parents, the incredible struggle that Emmeline must have endured despite being arrested and thrown in prison many times over because she believed women should have more rights, especially the simple, most precious right of all, the right to vote.

So here is the question that springs to mind.

What kept Emmeline going? What kept this amazing woman strong in the face of such adversity during a time where society had been trained to view women in an extremely poor light? Where did her incredible strength and durability come from?

The simple answer was the belief in her own power.

The Power of One.

Now, the whole point of writing about this most incredible British woman is to demonstrate to both men and women, that no matter what you face, how much you feel trapped, how much you want change or how much you are facing the disapproval of others, you too have that same power within you. If Emmeline could create such change back then at that point in history, you can do the same today.

Emmeline was fortunate because she had parents who were radical and fully in control of what they believed. They owned their own personal right to make the choices and decisions that they felt were right for them and they passed their passionate beliefs and attitudes onto their daughter who as a result turned society up on it’s head.

Although she was such a free thinking spirit considering the time in which she lived,a period which had just emerged from a stiff, highly reserved Victorian era, ironically Emmeline cast aside her inspired thinking, which had so victoriously set her apart from the restrictions of the then society, when she refused to speak to her daughter Sylvia for the crime of having an illegitimate child.

Refusing to have anything to do with Sylvia or her grandson, Emmeline died in 1928.

How odd that she had set so many women free, orchestrated a complete change of attitude towards women in society, achieved far improved standards of working and living conditions for women, and brought about their equal right to vote. Yet, she was bound up in a belief that it was wrong to have a child out of wedlock to such an extent that she disowned her own daughter and grandchild.

How sad that this gallant, free spirited woman passed from this life on earth without forgiving her own flesh and blood. Even more sad was that she could not see that Sylvia was now a product of a much freer society that Emmeline herself had created.

This was clearly a limiting belief that Emmeline held as a boundary to what she found unacceptable and in some ways, it backfired as limiting beliefs so often do mostly because they lead to bad judgements and intolerance.

These two points are inextricably linked. Power and acceptance, power and acceptance, power and acceptance.If we say them over and over, they begin to chime harmoniously together.

Emmeline Pankhurst was an incredible woman living in a brief space of time where she made the impossible happen because of her own power (what she chose to believe was right for her) and what she chose to accept (what she believed was either unacceptable or acceptable to her on a personal level.) When she chose to adopt the limiting belief that her daughter was wrong to have a child out of wedlock, her choice cost both her and her daughter great pain so having set so many women free, Emmeline actually trapped herself by believing it was right to ignore her daughter and grandchild.

We can as individuals draw on many helpful lessons from learning about inspiring people like Emmeline Pankhurst.

For example, we can ask ourselves:

Do I feel powerful enough to change my life?

What is acceptable to me?

What do I feel unable to accept that I am currently accepting?

What limiting beliefs am I holding onto?

One further point about Emmeline that positively shines out a mile, is that she knew who she was and what she was here to do.

How many of us know the same about ourselves today?

I know from the many clients I see that when I ask them to tell me who they actually are, they look at me with a blank expression and they struggle to answer the question.

This tells me that they’ve become so bogged down in the details of life, that they know their friends better than themselves and that over time, they have become a complete stranger to who they really are.

I chose to write about Emily Pankhurst for this particular article because when I was 12 and studying history at school, I’d been dozing through the lesson when my history teacher threw a book in my direction and yelled at me in front of the whole class,

‘Listen you stupid girl! Because of Emmeline Pankhurst, you are a free woman today! You could at the very least be grateful’!

I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t deliberately ignoring the lesson, I was tired from being up at 4.30am to help at home. But my incredibly irate history teacher, rightly or wrongly in the way she approached it, got my attention and I have admired and been inspired ever since by women like Emmeline Pankhurst. I found a lot of my own strength and power in viewing her as my own role model for standing up for my beliefs and achievements today.

Whether you’re male or female, if you want to bring positive change to your current life or circumstances, the first line of action you need to take is to begin questioning and often change your perception of the way in which you see your own world. This means taking a shrewd and honest view of what you currently believe about yourself, the environment you live in and the role others play in shaping your life.

It’s all about the questions you ask inwardly and the dialogue you have with yourself then taking a leap of faith in making choices and decisions that are right for you.

bad, called, carole, change, coaching, control, courses, daughter, emmeline, employer, people, power, put, society, speech, stop, strengths, stutter, stuttering, talents, therapy, time, weaknesses, women, work, world, worried, worry, worrying